Barbie movie: Marketing was great, but film was a letdown

In a year-long marketing campaign, Mattel bombarded us with relentless promotion, creating a Summer of Barbie that felt like resistance was futile, all before anyone knew if the movie was even good. There were pop-up cafes, collaborations with Forever 21, and an abundance of viral Instagram filters. However, when the actual film finally arrived, it fell short of expectations. To borrow a phrase from the Aqua song, 'Life in plastic, not fantastic.' 'Barbie' is a tiresome, chaotic, self-absorbed, and excessively dramatic disappointment. The arthouse director and co-writer Greta Gerwig (known for 'Lady Bird' and 'Little Women') and co-writer Noah Baumbach ('Marriage Story') have produced a smug tale that lacks a single sympathetic character. Instead, it overflows with moral platitudes and intellectual jokes that come across as pretentious. In the midst of this corporate cash grab masquerading as an artistic endeavor, a teenage girl in a California high school cafeteria shouts at Margot Robbie's Barbie: 'You represent everything wrong with our culture. You destroyed the planet with your glorification of rampant consumerism — you fascist!' Taken aback by the criticism, Barbie exclaims, 'She thinks I'm a fascist?! I don't control the railways or the flow of commerce!' This eye-roll-inducing exchange epitomizes the film's misguided attempt at humor, which consistently undermines character development and plot progression, alienating anyone seeking genuine enjoyment. What's worse is that the filmmakers seem deluded into thinking that this 'Barbie' movie is something more than a mere merchandise-driven scheme. Gerwig's movie begins with a cliché, as a narrator (Helen Mirren) states, 'Since the beginning of time, there have always been dolls,' while little girls surround a giant Barbie and violently destroy their old toys. This scene parodies the monolith sequence from '2001: A Space Odyssey,' a trope that has been parodied countless times. The narrator goes on to describe a utopia called Barbie Land, where diverse Barbies and Kens inhabit a matriarchal society with a Barbie president (Issa Rae) and an all-Barbie Supreme Court. They reside in Malibu DreamHouses, visit a cardboard beach, innocently flirt with Kens, and engage in slumber parties. If you anticipate encountering a multiverse of unique, strong-personality Barbies, you'd be better off browsing a toy store after a few martinis. The group members, portrayed by Hari Nef, Dua Lipa, Nicola Coughlan, Emma Mackey, and others, all behave similarly and disappointingly lack standout moments. Every Ken (played by Ryan Gosling, Scott Evans, Simu Liu, and more) is predictably portrayed as a fool. According to the narrator, Barbie Land citizens believe that 'thanks to Barbie, all problems of feminism and equal rights have been solved' in the real world. In this alternate reality, each Barbie has a plastic toy counterpart on Earth. For example, Kate McKinnon's Barbie, one of the few bright spots, has chopped hair and colored lines on her face because a little girl played roughly with her and tossed her into a box. But when the classic Barbie (Robbie) unexpectedly develops an obsession with mortality, discovers cellulite on her belly, and acquires flat feet, she embarks on a journey in a convertible, boat, and rocket ship to guide her child owner onto the right path. Strangely, the real world setting is Los Angeles, which feels like a missed opportunity. Sadly, LA doesn't appear or behave much differently than Barbie Land, and the film lacks truly funny fish-out-of-water moments. Barbie encounters Mattel's CEO, played by Will Ferrell, who, in one of many unexplained plot holes, is well aware of Barbie Land and believes that knowledge of its existence poses a threat to America. The writing, across the board, is lazy. While the script doesn't need to be plausible, given its subject matter, every time it takes a nonsensical narrative leap, a character cracks a joke as if the viewer is a cultural ignoramus for questioning the film's logic. Two puzzling scenes featuring Rhea Perlman from 'Cheers' add to the confusion. The mother-daughter characters portrayed by America Ferrera and Ariana Greenblatt are poorly conceived and lack depth. Some semblance of drama emerges when Ken becomes fixated on the patriarchy and masculinity of the real world, bringing those concepts back to disrupt Barbie Land. However, the execution lacks excitement. Gosling's portrayal of a dim-witted hunk starts off as silly but quickly grows tiresome when it becomes evident that there's no substance beyond the initial gag. Visually, the film fares better than its storytelling. The art direction is attractive and clever, albeit loud and confined to a small scale. Exploring more of Barbie Land and less of Century City and a single LA office building would have been preferable. Ultimately, 'Barbie' falls short compared to other exaggerated stranger-in-a-strange-land films like 'Pleasantville' or 'Elf.' Even in the realm of toy-themed movies, 'The Lego Movie' surpasses it in heart, comedy, and creativity. What 'Barbie' accomplishes is being an empty film designed for the superficial social media era, where the most important aspect is snapping a photo of the movie poster.